poetry in commotion...

mother remember being so stern with that girl who was with me

I got a message from Kane today asking if I wanted to catch up and watch a movie with him. So, despite desperately wanting a nap and not really wanting to go out at all, I sacrificed it all in the name of friendship and went to watch "The Island" with him this afternoon. The movie was actually pretty good I must say, though I still would've preferred a nap. Over the last couple of weeks no less than 4 or 5 people have contacted me to catch up with them, or just ringing me to see how things were going, people that I hadn't talked to, or seen, or even thought about, for a long while. I make friends easily, I have to admit, because I'm not too fussy about making friends, save that he's not a complete asshat, or she a complete bitch. And so far, I've been incredibly blessed by the people who have wandered into my life, and consequently, my heart. However, once I stop talking to people, I make don't make much of an effort keeping in touch with them. I'm trying to wonder why is that. The people I meet, the people talk to, the people I love, are, each and everyone of them, special, unique souls that any person would be proud to call them friend, lover, family. Not everyone is perfect, but all possess that sense of good that somehow enriches your life with their presence. I guess I'm like a single raindrop from the sky. One day, I drop into the pond people call their life, make a momentary ripple, perhaps a little splash....after which I leave not a single trace, as if I was never there at all.

You could psychoanalyze me and come up with any number of reasons. All of which don't really matter. What really matters is that I should stop waking up in the morning, missing someone like crazy, or just wondering what they're doing, reaching for my phone to ring them....then stopping. Withdrawing my hand. Wondering if it's a good idea. To walk back into their lives and say "Hi, it's me, Jase. Did you miss me?" To force them to have to make room in their lives for me.

Yet, I still get these calls, these emails, these messages. People I thought had forgotten me, asking me what I'm doing, how I am asking me if I missed them. And always, the answer is yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So, from now on, I'm going to make an effort. I'll make a few calls, send a few emails, catch up with some old friends. Sometimes, in this whole crazy mess we call life, we're given gifts to help us make it through. Mine are my friends. Some might hate me. Some might have forgotten me. Andsometimes, you remember you stopped talking to that person for a reason. But nothing truly important ever comes easy. We just have to steel ourselves, close our eyes, and take a leap.

Love, jasey.


Many people will walk in
and out of your life,
but only true friends will leave
footprints in your heart.

posted by jaseypoo! @ 11:30 PM