Last exam tomorrow. Just came back from dinner, it was my dad's birthday today, almost forgot in all the exam business =/
It's kind of funny...my father and I didn't get along that well in the past, although that's changed a lot since my mother went to Canada. It was recently that we both admitted that we didn't get along because we're just too much alike. The thing is, in my life, my father was never really anything more than a person who gave me advice I thought I already knew, and an authority figure I resented. As the years went by, I grew to resent the person that he was, and I grew apart from him. I became the person I am because, to me, that was everything my father was not. Yet, I am my father. The same cheeky irreverence, the boyish playfulness, and the "I don't give a fuck" attitude, are all the trademarks of my father when he was young. My uncles and aunties even tell me I look like him when he was my age, with the same mannerisms. It's funny, he and I walked our separate paths, yet in the end I am still my father's son. My parents have always been relatively affectionless ( though you musn't mistake that for loveless) unless I coax it out of them, so I guess its natural that a space forms between parent and child, especially if you have two very alike personalities under one roof. I guess it can also explain why I can be emotionally distant at times. Years ago I swore to myself that if I ever had children, I would shower them with the affection that I never recieved, because sometimes all a child wants, all anybody really wants, is to know that someone loves them, and it only takes a simple hug or gesture to convey it. But when I think about how distant I can be at times, I wonder if I can really be that sort of parent. Hell, I am my father's son after all. Just in a weird mood right now
Have you ever gone out of the way to be with the one you love?
"If you love them, everywhere is on your way"
posted by jaseypoo! @ 10:34 PM
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