poetry in commotion...

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everybody! Hope everyone enjoyed last night as much as I did, even if certain people don't like me enjoying the occasional cigar on NEW YEARS. Anyway my hand is still stinging from last night, which (for those that weren't there), resulted from yours truly doing something pretty idiotic involving 2 mates and a fall from a height on to broken glass. While the cut didn't worry me that much ( I was bleeding a lot), I was worried whether there was any glass in it, so all the guys came along with me to the first aid station and the women there bandaged me up, despite refusing to the believe the moronic tale of self injury that was sadly the truth. I was hoping to get some sympathy actually, (because I'm really just a little kid who likes to be fussed over by women) but sadly, none of that was forthcoming, not even my mom (whose reply to my statement "mom your baby is injured!" was a perfunctory "Evil baby"). Even when not just 10 minutes ago, I cut my pinky on the same hand from the glad wrap serrated edge. No doubt a fiendish ploy from my evil stepmom (she has to be) to knock me off.

Anyway, here's a list of New Years resolutions I've made up. I've decided to make a small number of big goals instead of huge numbers of small ones:

1) Put on 10-15kgs

2) Be more careful with what I say. Lately I've really been saying a lot of stupid things that have probably infuriated the women on many occasions, so I'm going to cut back on that this year.

3) Not bring up Rebecca's sister. It was funny at the start, but I think I've pushed the nevelope far enough, so I'm going to reverse from that trend this year. While this is related to the above resolution, I feel its important enopugh to warrant its own numerical value. So no more Rebecca's sister, and more hot Munro sister talk. Did I tell you about Isobel...?

4) Get fitter. I've started thi year, and I guess for the betterment of myself I should continue to do so this year.

5) Return to my spiritual/creative roots. While I never lost touch of that, the last half of '04 I got so caught up in things that I didn't get a chance to write as much as I should, or meditate on things. To tell you the truth, this blog has been over 90% of my own personal writing last year, so I want to change that this year, and also take more time away from the rat race and just...meditate, ponder, like I used to do. On a similar note, I will try to continue to combine creative fiction with real life journalism in this blog that I'm sure you all love (and by all I mean "one", and by "one" I mean none, without the n). I will continue to push the envelope of humour in new exciting ways however, by using more "edgy" words like "nigger", "fag" punctuated by the word "fuck", alongside humor content like "Have you ever notice white people are like....., and BLACK people are like THIS ....."

6) Seek to convince everyone I invented something stupid but widely known, like Hakuna Matata


Predictions for this year:

1) Bec will start a fight with me, despite her best intentions not to.
2) Rebecca will get annoyed at me one way or another
3) I will play more world of warcraft (yes yes, call me Captain Obvious)
4) The new season for the OC will suck
5) I still won't like hip hop
6) Dan will still be a jerk, and lootwhore his way through Azeroth
7) The few remaining people who still find me funny will realise I'm not, and feel ashamed they ever did
8) I will conquer the world, but no one notices because they're all watching the OC

Anyway, that about wraps it up, thanks for dropping by, and I hope you enjoy your New Years weekend :).

WEE WEE WEE show's over I'm tired.


P.S - Have you ever noticed white people are like white, and NIGGERS are FUCKING like black?" Woah thats edgy "I'm fucking Chris Rock" humour right there, and like Chris Rock, not funny.


P.P.S - toy soldiers on 8.30 tomorrow night is one of the greatest movies. Ever.

posted by jaseypoo! @ 12:11 PM