Laser Corps
Yeah I went to Laser Corps on Saturday. Think Q-zar/Darkzone/Zone 3 outdoors. It was alright, not a bad bit of fun for around 30 dollar5s, although, personally, paintballing would be so much better. Anyway, heres a photo I took after our little laser war games. As you can see, the coveralls did not fit my figure
at all.
Big, tough Army men, in big, tough, Army poses.
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Good News For People Who Love Bad News
I got a speeding ticket!
weeeeeeI was doing 70 in what apparently was a 60 zone (which woulda been handy to know
before getting flashed), so I look forward to that coming in the mail.
While there's the whole monetary loss involved with the fine (I think its $75, which could've bought me a whole
harem of underage Thai hookers), I'm more concerned with what the cost will be from my mom, which I like to call the "
Nag Factor". That cost I'll be paying for a
long time after.
Anyway...you know what would cheer me up? A nice cooked meal and a..........
If you found this funny you are going
straight to hell.
Transformers Erotic Gay Fiction WTF
Optimus leaned back and braced himself against the wall, moaning in abandon as the skilled male performed one of the best blowjobs he'd ever had. Alita was certainly talented in that department, but somehow not even she could satisfy like a male who knew exactly what spots to hit and how it would feel. His legendary control was cracking as he pistoned his hips against the mouth that sucked him so eagerly. "Ahhh, mmm, yes, don't stop!" he begged, praying that the incredible sensations would go on forever. His cries took on an urgent note as he felt spasms beginning to seize him. "Ah god, I'm cumming!" he tried to warn his partner in case he didn't want to receive a mouth full of cum. However, Flamer just grinned and sheathed his cock inside his mouth, tickling the underside with his oral probe. That was the last bit of stimulation he needed to send him over the edge, and Optimus let go with an abandoned cry that echoed off the shower walls, writhing in ecstasy as his cock squirted down his delectable partner's eager throat, which swallowed every drop.All this and much more in
the PHANTOM ZONEPlease kill me now.
I hang my head in shame for the post. Please accept this picture of hot hot Rachel Bilson to balance out the homosexual transformers....
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Not Very Funny Update
I know I haven't updated my blog recently, but thats because nothing really interesting and/or funny has been happening, just real boring uni and work stuff. Besides that, I've decided to go to the gym on a much more permanent basis (*
cue shocked gasps*), so hopefully I'll get fit, or more importantly,
get my parents off my back. Its sad that my parents are such fitness buffs and hence nag me to go the gym, otherwise I could've spent my time doing much more important things, like calling my friends gay, or making fun of ethnic minorities, and other such activities of
prime importance.
Anyway, its now a 2 week uni break for me, so i gotta do some work on my assignment before I lose all my free time to United Offensive or Fable, both games which look set to eat away at my free time. I'll leave you guys with a relatively amusing conversation with my mom that happened this afternoon (yes, it did happen, and what I've quoted is pretty much word for word).
Me: Hey mom guess what?
Mom: Don't bother me with your rubbish, I've got to cook dinner.
Me:Is that what you call it?
*
Sees evil look*
Me: Just kidding..ha ha...anyway guess what?
Mom: I'm not guessing, you're being stupid again.
Me:What? Since when?
Mom: Last time you said that you told me you wanted to be a porn star.
Me:Don't worry mom, thats still the dream. But seriously.
Mom: No no go away I'm busy!
Me: Mom this could be serious! One day I could need to discuss something seriously with you, and you wont be able to hear me out!
Mom: Ok ok what?
Me: I'm gay.
*
Mom looks exasperated*
Mom: Ok ok go away.
Me: And I have a boyfriend. He's my creampuff.
Mom: Who is it now? *
irritably*
Me: Its Shaun.
Mom: You mean the one that lives in Como?
Me: Yeah him. We're dating.
Mom: hrmm
*
thinks for a second*
Mom: Yeah i can see that.
Me: ahahahaahhahaah you think he's gay?!
AHAHAHA SHAUN MY MOM THINKS YOU'RE GAY!!!
And get MSN so we can cyber. I havent been able to log in to Austnet for ages :/
Nb: Generally when I start a conversation with "Hey mom guess what?" it usually means I
am being stupid.
Last Midsem
My last midsem is tomorrow, after which I'll be going to the
gym. I know. Scary.
There goes my holiday plans.
jaseylovesyou!
Apparently I haven't blogged since Monday, which is true, so to keep you ravening fans at bay, let me discuss a little topic I've been meaning to bring up.
One thing that's been bugging me, for while now, is MSN, and more specifically, people inferring my feelings towards them from what I do or don't do. That is to say, people think I've been ignoring them, or that I'm annoyed at them, or something along those lines, because I don't start conversations with them on MSN.
I don't start conversations on MSN. It's as simple as that. It's not because I hate you, or I don't like you, or have something against you, its just that I don't start conversations on MSN. It also doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you, or I'm too busy to talk to you. Its just that I
dont start conversations on MSN. I mean, out of the last 4 years I must have made phone calls, with the pure intention of just chatting, only
3 or 4 times. That's like
once a year.
What I'm basically saying is, I love to chat, I'd love to talk to you, but
only at your convenience. So if you want to talk to me, feel free, start the conversation. You won't be annoying me. You won't be disturbing me. And if you are, I'll tell you. I am usually always free to talk about anything you want, if you have a problem, you're bored, or for some inexplicable reason, you crave the attention I bring in these actions we call
conversing. The same thing goes for phone calls too. Have a problem, bored, or just want to talk to me? Feel free to ring me on my house phone or my mobile..
Just for the love of god, don't assume that because I've never started a conversation with you means I don't like you or think you're a third rate friend or something, its just that I don't start conversations on MSN.
At the risk of sounding like a smooth operator or something, this is mainly directed at the girls. I've never had this problem for guys, but it's like women get bored and want to stir things up or something. Trust women to overcomplicate things.
Hrmm, that last paragraph seems pretty inciendiary...I'm dead aren't I? :P
Oh yes, Bec was very good last night and didn't start a fight, so please commend her the next time you talk to her.
Summarize: jaseylovesyou!
HELLO I AM BEC AND I FEEL LIKE FIGHTING
Based on a true story;Bec logs in.Bec: RARG!!
Jase: Why hello most awesomely bodacious yet intelligent Bec, how are you on this fine night?
Bec: RARG AGAIN! I HAVE LOGGED ON TO START FIGHTS AND EMASCULATES JASONS! FEEL MY ESTROGEN FUELED FURY!!
Jase: Oh no! Perhaps I may be able to reason with you and engage in calm rational discussion. I mean, women are famous for that.
Bec: SHUT UP AND PREPARE TO BE EMASCULATED! YOU ARE A MAN! YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT SEX AND REFUSE TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS, AS WELL AS DRIVE RECKLESSLY AT SPEEDS NOT 20KMPH UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT!
Jase: Perhaps you are right. Will you accept my apology?
Bec: No. Once again, I feel like fighting.
True story.
blogging fever
Ben's started a blog too, as well as Jonno. Link is in the sidebar.
Like mine, his is more humour bent, but more 'work humour' than my own "humour based on real life events with the occasional funny pic AND AS MANY GAY JOKES AS I CAN POSSIBLY FIT IN"
Sorta like Police Academy, minus that funny black guy that does the sounds. You know,
that guy.
by the way, the porn link in the links section is ACTUAL PORN. What am I, a
liar?
Dissertation on Business Ethics
I had a whole 4 and a half hours sleep today before I got called in to work, which pretty much means selling a LOT of dodgy fish to unsuspecting customers. Those who spend time with me know that I have been unashamedly vocal about the quality of the seafood Action Southlands sells, so when once again, when my boss asked me to put out some really old fillets, I once again spoke my mind on this matter. Here is an excerpt from the conversation (may be
slightly paraphrased):
Jase: Dear Beloved Employer, I would like to voice my concern over the quality of this seafood product.
Boss: PUT THEM OUT, PEON!
Jase: Esteemed manager, are you engaging in and/or condoning unethical business practices in regards to the seafood item we are currently selling?
Boss: RARRG I AM EVIL END BOSS WITH SUPER MEGA POWER!!11!oneoneone! PUT THEM OUT SAYS I !! OBEY ME OR DIE IN MANY PAINFUL WAYS INVOLVING VIN DIESEL MOVIES!!1one!
Jase: EEK! I shall have to transform into SUPER UBER AWESOME POWER PERSON OF MUCH SMITING.
and to cut the long story short he cast a whole bunch of status ailments on me and I died, and since I couldn't be bothered reverting to a previous save, I put the fillets out.
Moral of the story: Don't buy seafood unless you can see the fish is fresh. Stay away from gourmet stuff that isn't frozen, and always ask if you can get the frozen stuff.
Anyway, beside working, went to the movies on Tues, with Dan, Bec, Rebbecca and Nic. Oh yeah, and
Andrew. We were at Nic's to watch Bourne Identity, then went to watch Bourne Supremacy. It was a pretty good movie actually, so I was satisfied. After that Dan drove me back to mine, where we talked about stuff (which I might talk about later), till 4 in the morning :o . Yeah, the conversation was that good.
Anyway, to wrap things up, here is (the much anticipated, to be sure) Top 5 List;
Top 5 Things Women Say But DON'T Really Mean:
5.
I'll be ready in a minute.
Translation: Go watch the entire Lord of the Rings, I might just about be ready halfway through the third movie.
4.
Do what you want.Translation: Go ahead, you'll pay for it later
3.
Lets not talk about it.
Translation: I DO want to talk about it, but only 2 weeks later, and at the worst most inconvenient time for you.
2.
Its a good size.
Translation: hahahahahahahahahaah
and the number one thing women say, but don't really mean IS (Oh the
suspense)....
1.
I'm sorry.
I think most guys already know the translation for this, but here it is for the benefit of the girls....
Translation:
YOU will be sorry.
Anyway, thats the end of tonights episode, please cue "My Girl" for ending song, thank you, come again!
P.S Jonno's blog is
here
Artists Impression. The E stands for E-vill
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