Tuesday, May 23, 2006

HOPE RIDES ALONE


It came to my attention several days ago that the number one fantasy for men was to have sex with two women (at the same time). When I heard this, I was disgusted. I mean, what a failure of imagination. Why aim only for two? Set the bar higher guys! Think harem

Work added a new, nefarious twist to its usual dose of humdrum monotony punctuated by, the excitement of a bored housewive deciding the worst thign that could happen to her would be for us not to sell her a tiger loaf. We don't have any tiger loaves because we didn't bake any. Yet somehow, to someone, this is the beginning of the End Times, and may God have mercy on us all. If I didn't mention it earlier, two of my co workers are no longer working at BeeDee (it of course stands for Baker's Delight, but it has interesting connections to VD, which is only marginally worse) because one of them (Zara) has left to work at Myers, and the other went bugfuck mental. Yes, you heard me. He woke up one morning about a week ago and decided he couldn't handle it (whether BD or life in general, I'd never know, but no doubt a little of column A and a little bit of column B) and locked himself in, and actually hasn't come out since. You're reading this for some kind of joke, but its not. I am burdened with the slight guilt thsat this may be partially my fault, because I made fun of him being an orphan. Yes, that's not a joke either. It was a very funny joke though, and he did laugh. Yes Jason, keep absolving yourself of responsibility... Because of that, we have one of the bakers from Perth City covering shifts, named Lisa, who happens to be 3 months pregnant and about to embark on maternity leave. Anyone who's asked me about my job knows that my number one beef isn't the shitty people skills of my manager, but the complete lack of any sort of training I'm supposed to be taught so I can get the hell out. According to her, this lack of training, is in fact, deliberate. While I did know companies do in fact get financial subsidies for training apprentices ( such as the bakers), what I did not know is that under certain circumstances, it can also apply to university graduates, one of which is, you guessed it, the BD cadetship. Moreover, according to her, BD uses this to their advantage by filling up their fulltime rosters with apprentices, trainees, whatever the hell they can pass off to the Board of Moneygiving, and as a result, getting cheap labour to make their substandard products and manage their stores. She started in BD at 16, becoming an apprentice baker ffrom part time sales, which took her four years, and then they forced her against her will to accept some trainee management role. She is nominally a trainee bakery manager, and has been for four years. They last signed her off on one of her training modules 9 months ago. While there is a distinction between my cadetship and her trainee managment (I know it doesn't seem like it, but there is), their principle is still the same. WIll it take them that long to finish my training? Of course not. They actually want me to manage at the end of this cadetship. Will it take the estimated 12 months? Doubtful. Probably even as long as 18 months. She gave me advice in the form that to keep causing a ruckus, force them to train me. While I've been riding Rachael's back about training for awhile now (ugh...curse my dirty mind), it looks like I need to kick up a shitstorm to get anything done. Luckily I'm a fully qualified shitstirrer, as anyone here knows, so hopefully that'll get some real results. I actually pushed Rachael to giving me homework today. Its a shame I wasn't so concientious in uni. I still maintain that the opportunity is good...but only if I act on it. I am on the lookout for a better job however, but for other reasons.

Bec's birthday dinner was held last saturday at the excellent restaurant of fame (or more accurately, infamy), La Porchettas. Now, I'm not here to talk about the substandard food, the inferior service and the decor choices that would look more at home in your local parish community club, hallmarks of the La Porchetta experience. Hahah see that? That was me not letting it go. What I'm here to talk about is the most alcohol Bec had imbibed in awhile (well...only. I should know, I've been trying to get her drunk enough to sleep with me for years), the drunken assault on my person, and her generally having a good time (hopefully). A good time was had by all (after dinner), and I'm hoping theres more Bec drunkeness and less "I'm going home now at 9pm because I have work tomorrow". Not seeing Bec makes me a sad panda :( Unfortunately I didn't bring my camera so I have no photos of the night. Stoney's is saturday night. Must remember to get him drunk...

No one was left who could remember how it had happened,how the world had fallen under darkness.
At least no one who would do anything.
No one who would oppose the robots.
No one who would challenge their power,
or so Dr. Wily believed...


Hope Rides Alone -->





Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Bec's Birthday Dinner...


at La Porchettas.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO







UPDATE: Oh my god, I'n now downloading the last volume of Ichigo 100%. I am literally shaking with anticipation.

UPDATE 2: Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God.

Friday, May 12, 2006


Bec's birthday is coming up this next week, so try to keep the weekend free guys. Anyway, turns out the PS3 will come in two variants: one with a 20GB HDD for $499USD and one with a 60 GB HDD costing $599 USD. Thats right. Thats like close to a grand just for the 20GB version...

On to related news, I preordered a DS Lite today. It comes out the 1st of June. Can't wait :D

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand


I don't care
I'm still free
You can’t take the sky from me.


Sorry for the lack of updates friends, but I've been keeping myself busy. I'll try to update this blog twice a week, on a tuesday and some other day of the week, though those of you in the know will relaise the significance of these days. Three words. World of Warcraft.

Anyway, here are some things I wanted to say about the world at large;

I wanted to tell you guys how those of who you who think that its my imagination my boss hates me will be interested to know that convieniently the last couple of weeks my rosters works in such a way that I see my boss the least amount of time possible. She starts early, I start late. I get my day off while she's there and vice versa. I have, as of the last two weeks, seen my boss a total of 3 days in the past 2 weeks, and of those 3 days I only see her 4 hours. While a part of me rejoices at the lack of contact, the larger part of me views with some consternation the person that I'm seeing so little of is the one who's supposed to train me.

Secondly I want to comment on the sudden passing of Richard Carleton. I'm sure most of you know at least who Richard Carleton was. 60 Minutes is one of the most viewed current affairs programs in Australia and is widely considered top notch in reporting quality and accessibility. I consider it sensationalist tripe, and often a sentence uttered by me containing 60 Minutes also includes the words garbage, and unwatchable. Despite my concerns that Richard Carleton often veers onto sensationalist journalism that is the trademark of 60 Minutes, there is a respect of him from by me because, even if he may have asked the hard questions for the wrong reasons, he still had the balls to ask them. I will miss him, anytime I watched any segment of 60 Minutes, 90% of the time it was him.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I want you guys to all know that I am completely messed up. I know I know, you mutter, but here is a scintilating tale of my dive into insanity. Last night, I dreamt I walked into my room. As I closed the door, a hitherto unseen woman walks from behind. She is extremely hot, and is hellbent on my seduction. She also has a hitler moustache and so much nosehair that I would call it a nosebeard. She proceeds to give me a blowjob while I stare in horrified fascination at the nosehair. I woke up not long after, crying with laughter.

I am Jack's warped sense of humour.

It was only on the drive to work that, as I reflected upon the dream, I was filled with the unease that it may have been a gay dream in disguise. Those fags are getting more fiendish every year, now they invade my dreams. For those a tad squeamish, screaming TMI TMI (too much information..or perhaps even tee em aye, a byproduct of Pax Americana and its pop culture generation), it's not what you're thinking. I woke up, y'know, neutral, and, y'know, clean.

uhh..enjoy the following picture to take your minds off that mental image ^_____^


lulululu